A MR Parody Thign
by Bedelato
Summary: My first story and my first attempt at an MR parody. Hilarious if I say so myself. Featuring: annoying narrator, programming jokes, and more! Reviews are appreciated but not required.
1. Part 1, Segment 1

**A MR Parody Thingy**

_Table of ownership:_

**JP owns:**

-Characters

-Title

-Books

-Plot

**I own:**

-Narrator

-My take on the plot

-This file

Now with that out of the way... Let us begin!

**Introduction**

Narrator:Hello, readers! Welcome to a very funny (and very clean) MR parody! I'm the narrator. (I like parentheses a lot.)

**Prologue**

Narrator:Okay. Max is running for her life, and...

Max:Okay, cut it out. That's the umpteen jillionth time you've narrated my nightmare.

Narrator:But I'm the narrator! It's my job! (Why didn't my boss tell me Max was going to be this difficult?)

Max:[smacks her forehead] Ugh... never mind.

**Part One**

Max:*sigh* It was that dream... Okay, systems check. No bullet holes... No red laser dot... No claw marks... Okay.

Gazzy:Mornin', Max.

Max:I had the most horrible dream.

Gazzy:Lemme guess: You're running from Erasers, and you come to a cliff and escape?

Max:No. There was this narrator with a dreamy voice who kept narrating the dream for the umpteen jillionth time.

Gazzy:Was he an Eraser?

Max:No, but he just **WOULDN'T SHUT UP**!!!

Fang:Hey guys.

Nudge:HI I HAVE SO MUCH TO TELL YOU ABOUT LAST NIGHT I HAD THE MOST AMAZING DREAM IT WAS WHERE WE WERE ALL AT DISNEY WORLD AND--

Max:Give it a rest. Did you eat too many Nerds Ropes again?

Nudge:I stopped at the umpteen jillionth one.

Max:Okay...

Iggy:What was that about Disney World?

All:Let's go pick strawberries!

................

_Outside..._

Max:Hmmm... Weird. This is usually the point where Erasers show up and kidnap Angel. That's how it's always happened.

Iggy:How do you know?

Max:This is the umpteen jillionth time I've practiced this scene. Every time the Erasers show up and-- What the...!?

[Erasers walk in.*/

Iggy:Hey Ari. Long time no see.

Max:Said the blind kid.

Iggy:[blushes]

Angel:How many times have we pointed out your blindness again?

Iggy:That was the umpteen jillionth time.

Ari:Muhuhuhu! I is eraser now. U will die. Huhuhuh.

Fang:[holding his nose] Not only did they give you wolf form, you got wolf smell and wolf intelligence too.

Ari:Hey! I resent that!

Gazzy:Besides, shouldn't you be at the School or something?

Ari:Nah, I just wanna rub it into your puny little bird-kid skulls what wimps you are.

Nudge:Look! A bunny!

[Ari morphs and runs off.]

Max:He's part wolf, remember?

Fang:Yeah. That explains a lot. At least we got rid of him.

................

_Meanwhile..._

Eraser:Hey Angel.

Angel:What?

Eraser:I'm here to kidnap you.

Angel:Okay.

[Angel steps into the bag and is carried away.]

................

Max:Hey, where's Angel?

Eraser:She's in here.

Angel:Hi.

Max:What?

Gazzy:Hehe.

Max:If that was you, then where's Angel?

Eraser:She's in the bag. Bye.

Fang:Hey, guess what? They kidnapped Angel.

M I N G:[snarls]

Fang:Uh... I mean, Oh noes! They kidnapped Angel! [thinks] _This is __**so **__not my style..._

M I N G:That's better.

Fang:I've told you for the umpteen jillionth time that I don't show emotion! That is **so** not my style!

Nudge:Ya, whatever you say, darko.

................

_A couple hours later..._

Narrator:So, the Flock (minus Angel) is sitting at the table in their E-shaped house, and--

Max:WILL YOU GET OUT OF HERE!?

Nudge:[covering her ears] Max, calm down!

Max:But that narrator is driving me crazy!

Narrator:[thinks] _And that's without the Voice..._

Max:[whispers to Nudge] I had a nightmare about him...

Nudge:Oh.

Fang:Are you done yelling yet?

Max:Are you done narrating yet?

Narrator:Yes. [Slinks away sadly]

Iggy:So let's go save Angel.

Gazzy:Yeah.

Max:Actually, only me, Fang, and Nudge are going. Pyromaniac and Pyromaniac Junior are staying home because you're liabilities.

I G:HEY! WE RESENT THAT!

Max:I really don't wanna have to give the "Maxocracy" speech again for the umpteen jillionth time.

Fang:You don't have to. Let's just leave.

M F N:LET'S GO!


	2. Part 2, Segment 1

**Part Two**

Max:So, we're going to **teh sk00l**. We all clear on plan C?

F N:Plan C!?...

Max:Yeah. B's obsolete.

F N:Oh.

Max:I'm gonna sing the C song now.

Fang:NOOOO!!!

................

_Several null pointers later..._

Nudge:That was terrible!

Max:Should I do Java instead?

Fang:NOOOO!!!

................

_Several RuntimeExceptions later..._

Nudge:That was terrible!

Max:Okay. I'll stop.

Fang:Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay... For the umpteen jillionth time, yay.

................

Max:We're in Arizona now.

Nudge:I'm hungry.

Max:Okay. I'll go find us a place to... Hey, is that a girl getting beaten up?

Fang:Nudge, what's up with Max?

Max:Supergirl...urge...too...strong...Must...resist...charging...off... Aw, I can't do it. I have to go save her! Bye! [Flies off]

Nudge:[shrug]What just happened?

Fang:[shrug]What just happened?

................

_Meanwhile, back at the E-shaped house..._

I G:THIS SUCKS!

Iggy:I don't see why I have to stay here!

Gazzy:Says the blind kid. That's umpteen jillion and one times now.

Iggy:I wanna save Angel!

Gazzy:Wait! I know what we can do!

Iggy:What?

Gazzy:Let's make a plan!

Iggy:Oh noes, you're turning into Max.

Gazzy:There'll be bombs...

Iggy:I'M IN!

................

Ella:HELP!

Head Bully:I'z gunna beet ya to shredz fer tellin on me.

Bully 1:Us iz gunna rip yer hed off an' use it fer sumthign stoopid cuz we iz stoopid az yoo can tellz frum tha way we talkz.

Max:Yo.

Bully 2:[Turns around] Hu? Ya thinkz yer gunna beet up awn us?

Max:Exactly. [Kicks butt] You guys are dead.

Head Bully:I wouldn't say that... [Draws gun]

Max:Oh noes, a gun. [Takes off into the woods... on foot that is]

Head Bully:Yer gunna die, chick. [Shoots gun]

Max:Aw, crud. They got my wing.

[Thunder and rain and generally bad weather.]

................

_Several rainy, bleeding minutes later..._

Max:Hello, Ella... Uh, Those bully dudes sorta... uh, shot me, and I was wondering if you'd--

Ella:Of course we'll take care of you! Come on in!

Dr. Martinez:Hey Max. Okay. Where does it hurt?

Max:Right here. Oh yeah, I have wings.

Ella:OMG! Freak!

Max:...

Ella:Just kidding! They're so cool!

Max:You can keep a secret right?

Ella:Sure. Hey, can you actually fly with those?

Max:Yes.

Ella:Wow! I wish I had those. No more school bus!

Max:But you'd be a mutant freak who people laugh at.

Ella:...

Max:Alright. So let's get... [sniffs] Must...have...cookies...right...now... COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE!!!!

Martinez's:[laugh] All you can eat! Yay!

................

Iggy:...and here's our bomb!

Gazzy:Max is gonna kill us for this when she finds out who stole her Mickey Mouse clock.

Iggy:Yeah. But we've got more important things to worry about. Like how to blow up the Erasers.

Gazzy:Now let's go and cause an automobile accident!

Narrator:And so, Iggy and the Gasman went out to cause a Hummer accident--

I G:CUT IT OUT!!!

Narrator:I don't care. Anyways, they were going to cause a Hummer accident and blow up the Erasers. (I need an eraser. My script's all mudded up from that last bout with Max...) [shivers]

................

_Two diabolical hours later..._

Eraser Driver:So, where are those bird kids?

2nd Eraser:No clue... Hey, what's that thing on the road?

Eraser Driver:AUGH!

[Crash.]

................

Eraser:Don't make me say it.

2nd Eraser:You will say it and you will like it.

Eraser:[Sigh]Little pigs, little pigs, let me come in.

Iggy: Operation Big Boy! Now!

Gazzy:Get outta here!

[BOOM!]


	3. Part 2, Segment 2

Thoughts:_New new and wings and stuff that nobody cares about..._

Angel:I'm scared.

Whitecoat 1:You're saying this is Subject Eleven?

Whitecoat 2:Yes.

Whitecoat 1:[thinking] _Man, when I section her brain, I will... Actually, I don't know what I'll do. But I will section that brain._

Whitecoat 1:Come on, little _thing_.

Whitecoat 2:Just a _thing_.

Whitecoat 1:You're wanted in lab seven. [to Whitecoat 2] It _was_ lab seven, right?

Whitecoat 2:I think so. Anyway, we'd better get going real fast.

................

Reilly:Hurry up, stupid experiment! I don't have all day!

Angel:But Reilly, I can't go any faster!

Reilly:[thinking] _Hehehehe..._

Reilly:I don't care. This is fun. Zap! Zap! Zap! Hehehe. Zap! Zap!

Angel:Stop...it...please... [Chomp]

Reilly:Why you little... [Smack]

................

_Two hours later..._

Jeb:Hi Angel! It's your favorite traitor! But let's let that slide as I randomly reminisce about hot dogs.

Angel:OH NOES!

................

Nudge:Let's go to Tipisco so I can find my mom!

Fang:[reluctantly] Okay, whatever.

Ari:Hi.

F N:Oh crap. Abort!

................

Dr. Martinez:So this is my clinic. In here is where we see our patients. [Enters room]

Max:Okay, what now.

Dr. Martinez:X-ray. Okay, so your wing bones are fine, it's only muscle, blah blah blah. Oh yeah, you have a chip.

Max:OH NOES! [faints]

................

_The next day..._

Dr. Martinez:Max, you gotta go. Angel's waiting.

Max:How do you know about Angel?

Dr. Martinez:None of your business.

Max:Anyways, bye!

Martinez's:Bye!

................

Max:I'm back!

Flock:Yay!

Max:What are the Pyromaniac Senior and Junior doing here?

Gazzy:[counting on fingers] Hummer accident, Eraser trouble, big bomb. In that order.

Iggy:[grin] Hehe.

Max:Anyway, I got shot and had to reveal my secret to a regular human. Oh, yeah, I have a chip. And I had chocolate chip cookies. (Mmm, cookies...)

Nudge:I TRIED TO FIND MY MOM IN TIPISCO BUT I COULDN'T FIND HER AND THEN ARI SHOWED UP AND RUINED THE WHOLE THING AND--

Max:Okay, okay, we get it. Give it a rest. (Note to self:Destroy Nerds Rope.)

Fang:She made me come against my will. I warned her.

Max:I'll talk to her later. But right now...

Flock:LET'S GO SAVE ANGEL!

................

_Later..._

Max:Okay, California. We need to stay hidden cuz we're close to the School.

Gazzy:Ooh, look! An ATM!

Iggy:Aw, too bad. We can only get 200 dollerz at a time.

Gazzy:Aw man! I wanted a flame thrower!

Max:In your dreams.

F N:We're hungry.

Max:Okay, let's get food!

................

Narrator:And so the Flock ate at a fast-food restaurant...

Max:Cut it out! How did you get here anyway? I thought you were at home with Iggy and the Gasman.

Iggy:Hehe...

Max:Okay... (Note to self: Destroy Narrator.)

Fang:Uh... Max, look up.

Max:What? I don't see anyth... AAAH! [Looks up to see several Erasers surrounding the table] Let's get outta here!

[They bolt out the door.]

Customers:???

................

Max:Okay, I know stealing is wrong in most cases--

Fang:MOST!?

Max:Whatever. As I was saying, let's hotwire a random stranger's car.

Flock:OK!

Nudge:[walks up to stranger] EXCUSE ME MISTER BUT I NEED TO STEAL YOUR CAR SO MY FLOCK AND I CAN RUN FROM THE ERASERS IN THE RESTAURANT CUZ THEY WANNA TAKE US BACK TO THE SCHOOL AND WE CAN'T USE OUR WINGS IN PUBLIC SO CAN WE HAVE YOUR CAR PLEEZ?

Stranger:[Looks at Nudge like she's crazy] Flock? Erasers? School? Wings? I don't get it. Is this some sort of teenage prank? And aren't you too young to drive? And--

Nudge:[Gives Bambi eyes]

Stranger:(Darn!) Okay here you go. [Gives Nudge the keys]

Fang:Nudge? You saved us a lot of trouble there.

Iggy:Yeah. Now we don't have to hotwire anything. We've got the keys!

Max:[gets in car] Okay, let 'er rip!

Gazzy:[farts]

Max:[smacks forehead] Ugh...

................

_After 20 or so minutes of driving..._

Fang:Incoming Suburban at twelve o'clock!

Max:Too late!

[Car crash]

Ari:Yo.

Max:Yikes! Up and away, everybody!

Flock:Righto! [Start to fly off; Iggy and Gazzy get away; Ari pins others down]

Ari:Well, well, well. It's just like old times, isn't it, _Maximum _? [saying Max's name as if trying to humiliate her]

Max:[Gulp]

Ari:[flags down a passing car]

Max:What are you trying to do?

Passerby:What can I do for you?

Ari:Check it out! These kids have wings!

M F N:[Slink away sadly]

Passerby:Hey, I see 'em! Hey, angel kids! Can I have your autograph!?

Ari:[Speaking into radio] Get me the chopper, quick! Stat! _Schnell!_ _¡Rápido! _Ay Ess Ay Pee!

................

Fang:Aw man. We failed.

Angel:MAX! I knew you'd come.

Max:ANGEL! You're alive!

Fang:This would be a very touching scene if it weren't for the fact that we're all in cages and can't hug each other or any affectionate action like that.

Angel:Max, look up.

Jeb:Yo.

Max:Yikes! It's Jeb! Jeb's alive!

Nudge:OH MY GAWD JEB IS ALIVE HE'S NOT DEAD I MISSED YOU SO MUCH JEB AND... Max, what's wrong?

Max:I really don't need to say it, do I?

Nudge:No, you don't. [Sigh]

Jeb:Max, come with me.

................

Max:So what do you want?

Jeb:Nothing really. I'm just gonna try to make it up to you--

Max:Make up what?

Jeb:What a traitor I was.

Max:Yeah, you're a traitor. I hate you.

Jeb:Anyway, why don't we forget this whole thing and have some hot chocolate?

Max:No way. Just tell me what you want.

Jeb:[Sigh] You need to save the world.

Max:What!? [Spits out a mouthful of hot chocolate at Jeb, soaking his lab coat]

Jeb:You were created to save the world.

Max:Oh. Sorry about the coat. Not.

Jeb:I just had it dry-cleaned!

Max:Bye.

................

Ari:Yo. [Comes in with a crowd of children behind him]

Flock:Yikes!

Ari:This is the winged girl I told you kids about! Her name's Maximum.

Max:Cut it out Ari! Or I'll bite off your finger!

Iggy:Yo, Max and Ari!

Ari:Yikes! Hawks!

Max:Yay! Iggy's alive!

Fang:Let's blow this joint!

Gazzy:Okay! [farts]

Iggy:Okay! [bomb]

Max:Bye! [Flies up to flock]

................


	4. Part 3, Segment 1

**Part Three**

Angel:Let's fly to New York to find our parents. [Stares at Max intently]

Max:Uhh... Okay...

Angel:Yes!

Fang:She wasn't supposed to get that power until the toy store.

Nudge:SO FIRST WE HAFTA GET A PLANE TO NEW YORK AND THEN WE HAFTA GO TO THE INSTITUTE AND--

Max:The Institute thingy is a great idea Nudge. And how do you carry around all those Nerds Ropes?

Nudge:None of your business. Anyway, where are we gonna get the money to buy a plane?

Max:Uhh... hello? We're bird kids. As in, we've got freaking WINGS!

Nudge:Oh yeah right. Anyway, let's go to New York!

Max:All right, let's go... Oh...my...gawd...head...hurts...real...bad... [Falls]

Fang:MAX!? Are you okay?

Max:Headache. I can't fly like this. It's too painful.

Nudge:Well then, maybe we should just camp out for the night so she can recover.

Gazzy:Nah, let's go to New York without her.

Max:[sits up] What!?

Gazzy:Hehe... or, uh, we could take you along... Sure, let's go with that. [Grin] [farts]

................

_After a few long hours of flight..._

Iggy:Hey, look! There's New York!

Max:Says the blind kid.

Iggy:[blushes]

Fang:I hear music!

Max:Lemme check it out... It's the Taylor Twins.

Gazzy:Aw, man! I was hoping for Teh M00zix Peepelz.

Nudge:OH MY GAWD ITZ THE TAYLOR TWINS HEY CAN I GET YOUR AUTOGRAPH--

Max:Nudge! Don't just go flying down there! There's a crowd of people.

Nudge:Aw, man.

Angel:C'mon. I wanna watch the Taylor Twins!

Max:Uhh... Okay.

Angel:Hehe...

................

Nudge:I'm hungry. Ooh, look! Honey-roasted peanuts! Yummy!

Eraser:Yo.

Flock:Yikes!

................

Narrator:So, the Flock run for their lives in the middle of New York City, and--

Max:Cut it out already! We're in the middle of a chase scene!

Narrator:Aww...

Fang:Quick! Go into the zoo!

Eraser:Let me in!

Cop:School day only.

Eraser:But I'm from the School!

Cop:No clue what you're talking about. No unauthorized adults. You're not getting in.

Eraser:Aww...

Max:Let's get out of the zoo!

Fang:If those Erasers catch us we'll be PART of the zoo.

Gazzy:You got that right. [farts]

................

Max:Ooh... cookies... COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE

Fang:Ugh. We never should have let her save that girl. She's a cookie addict now.

Gazzy:No, really. They smell GOOD.

Nudge:I'm tired of walking.

Max:Hey! Let's check out that library! They have computers!

Flock:OK!

................

Max:[Types in a search command on the computer]

Computer:_Fail... Fail... Fail..._

Max:Darn!

Computer:_A problem has been detected and Windows has been shut down to prevent damage to your computer..._

Max:Oh $#!*

Computer:_An prawblim haz beed detecked and Windoze haz beed shutdowned two pervint damedge two yer cumpooter mersheen thign._

Nudge:Okay. When the Blue Screen of Death has messed-up English, you KNOW you've screwed up.

Guard:C'mere, you! You're under arrest cuz it's 73.2 degrees outside!

Fang:Farenheit or centigrade?

Max:Get outta here!

................


	5. Part 4, Segment 1

**Part Four**

Angel:Let's go to the subway.

Max:OK! Stay off the third rail!

Mike:Quit screwing with my Mac!

Max:[whimpers]

Fang:We're not doing anything!

Mike:Oh yeah!? [Shows screen]

Computer:_Hello Max. Welcome to New York. I'm here to be annoying. Like I'm doing right now._

Max:[High-pitched girly scream; passes out from shock]

Voice:_Yo._

Max:Yikes! I'm crazy!

Fang:Why are you in here anyway?

Mike:I'm schizophrenic. I take Thorazine.

Max:I have a chip.

Mike:OH NOES THE NSA IS COMING I HATE THEM!

Nudge:I'll tell you for the umpteen jillionth time: Stop speaking in all caps and run-ons! That's my job!

Max:Let's get outta here!

Iggy:Hmm... Institute for Higher Living. Sounds evil.

Gazzy:[farts]

................

Voice:_Get on the Madison Avenue bus cuz I said so. You're not crazy._

Max:Let's get on the bus then!

Driver:Pass, pass, pass, pass, pass, pass, pass... aww who cares? [Sigh] They don't pay me enough for this job.

Radio:We don't pay you at all.

Driver:Ugh... [Closes doors]

Max:Okay. Claustrophobic bird kids plus crowded city bus equals living nightmare. That's a proven formula.

Fang:Okay, Miss Maximum 'Math Wiz' Ride. Where are we getting off?

Max:DO NOT USE MY FULL NAME IN PUBLIC!!! It's embarrassing.

Driver:Okay, peoples! This is where the fun is! [Opens door]

I N G A:TOY STORE! YAY!!!! [Run inside]

................

Gazzy:Look at these life-size Micro Machines!

Ouija Board:SAVE THE WORLD MAX

Max:[High-pitched girly scream; passes out from shock]

Angel:Hey miss. I want this bear real bad. PLEEZ!?

Woman:Uhh... Wouldn't that be wrong?... I mean, Okay, sweetie. [Buys bear]

Angel:Yay! I'll call you Celeste!

Max:Angel? Where did you get that bear?... I mean, Never mind. Let's get outta here.

Angel:Her name is CELESTE.

................

Erasers:Yo.

Flock:Yikes!

Max:Run!

Fang:Bicycle messenger took an Eraser out!

Angel:BLOODY MURDER! BLOODY MURDER!

Max:ANGEL!

Eraser:Hahahahahahaha!... Ugh... [Dies]

Fang:Weird. He's dead.

Iggy:Strange.

Gazzy:[farts]

Fang:[reads tattoo on Eraser's neck] 11-00-07

Max:Eek.

Iggy:Tell me about it. [farts]

Gazzy:Hey! I'm the only one who can fart in this flock! [in Max's voice] That's right Iggy. Gazzy's the only one who can fart in this flock!

Iggy:You're not fooling me mister.

Gazzy:Aww...

Angel:Thanks Max.

Max:Hey look! An ATM card! With my name on it! Weird. How would somebody know my name? The only one besides you guys who knows my real name is _you-know-who_ [coughcoughJEBcoughcough]

Voice:_You can use it if you figure out the password._

................

Max:Let's go sleep in the trees in Central Park.

Fang:OK.

_A couple hours later..._

Cops:Kids! It's illegal to climb trees in Central Park!

Gazzy:You'll never take us alive, coppers! [farts]

Max:Who cares?

Cop:Normally, we would just let you off with a warning, but seeing as how it's 73.2 degrees outside, we'll be trying it as a capital offense punishable by death.

Fang:Farenheit or centigrade?

Max:That's just wrong!

Nudge:Yeah! That's in the Eighth Amendment! Cruel and unusual punishment!

Cop:April fools!

Iggy:For the record, it's July.

Cop:Whatever.

Nudge:I knew memorizing the Constitution would come in handy someday!

Flock:[Look at Nudge weirdly]

Nudge:I WAS BORED, OKAY!?

Max:Let's hide in this church over here!

Cop:Come back here!

Flock:He he he![Enters church]

Cop:Darn!

................

Narrator: So the Flock went into the church, and...

Max:Yo, god person. Whoever might be out there, please get rid of the stupid Voice, the even more stupid narrator, and Nudge's stupid Nerds Ropes.

Nudge:HEY I LIKE MY NERDS ROPES AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!

Gazzy: Oh my God, this church is huge! [farts]

Fang:I didn't think you believed in God.

Max:It's more like agnostic. There's a difference people!

Gazzy:[In preacher's voice] Yo peoples! Let's PARTY! [Goes up to church organ and starts performing Weird Al's constipation song, farting in time with music]

Churchgoers:???

Flock:[Exits]

................

Max:Okay, another brain attack.

Fang:What do you see?

Max:Hmm... [counting on fingers] Architectural drawings, subway lines, Iggy taking a shower...

Iggy:That was private!

Max:...Oh, yeah. I saw a building. Tall, greenish, about 20 stories tall. 31st Street.

Nudge:What are we waiting for, then!? Let's go!

Gazzy:Okay!

Angel:Yeah!

................


	6. Part 4, Segment 2

Fang:We need cash.

Max:Well, there's that bank card. But it could be a trap.

Voice:_It's not a trap, stupid._

Nudge:Did you figure out the password yet?

Max:No. "SCHOOL", no luck; "MAXIMUM", nil; "MAXRIDE", _nein_; "MFINGA", oh-nay; "CPLUSPLUS", zip; "JAVARULEZ", boolean doesItWork = false; today's date, also nothing. We don't have birthdays or Social Security numbers, so we're out of luck on that.

Nudge:Maybe it's something like "GIVEMEMONEY".

Gazzy:Try "FORXOVRYERMUNYZ".

Max:Nah. Too long.

Angel:What about "MOTHER"?

Max:Okay. [Enters "MOTHER"]

Angel:And...?

Max:No good.

Nudge:Darn!

Max:[Enters "DARN"]

Fang:What's the progress?

Max:I can't believe it! I got in!

ATM:This card has expired. Call customer service.

Gazzy:Darn! [Pounds on machine]

ATM:April fools!

Iggy:For the record, it's July.

ATM:Whatever. Here's yer cash. Now go away.

Gazzy:Okay.

Nudge:Who cares? We gotz teh moneyz!

Max:Let's buy Angel another Celeste!

Iggy:Okay!... Wait, what!?

Max:[Shakes head] ANGEL GET OUT OF ME!!!

Angel:Hahaha.

Max:Get the six-year-old! Now!

Angel:Hahaha... Wait, what are you guys doing!? It was a harmless prank! Please stop it?

Gazzy:DOGPILE!!! YAY!!!

Angel:Ouch.

................

Max:Okay. We're looking for a tall, greenish building on 31st Street.

Fang:You mean like that one? [Points to a tall greenish building on 31st Street]

Max:Yes! That's the one!

[They all go inside]

Max:Does this building have a basement?

Receptionist:Who are you? [Her computer crashes] You're bird kids, aren't you? Director Marian Janssen told us to eliminate you people!

Nudge:Marian Janssen. Write that down. We can use that in book three.

Security:Hey, bird kids! Come here so we can deadz you!

Iggy:No way!

Gazzy:[in guard's voice] Hey buddy! They're over here!

Guard:Okay! [Leaves]

Angel:[sending thought to Guard] _You don't know what bird kids are. They are not in this building._

Guard:I don't know what bird kids are. They are not in this building.

Max:Great. Just what we need. A six-year-old, flying female Obi-Wan with questionable upbringing.

Iggy:Let's bust this place!

Fang:Okay!

Nudge:Okay.

[They leave]

................

Gazzy:Max? I'm hungry and tired. I just wanna rest for the night. Eat some good f00dz. We're in a very rotten situation right now. [in Max's voice] I'm crazy! [in Angel's voice] I lost Celeste! Waahh!

Max:Okay. What do you want me to do?

Gazzy:Check into the Ritz.

Max:Okay. [Checks into the Ritz]

Gazzy:Now I wantz f00dz.

Nudge:I'M SO HUNGRY I WANTZ TEH F00DZ NOW OR I WILL EATZ YER HEADZ!

Fang:As long as it's not from a Dumpster, I'm fine.

Max:Okay. Also, as designated Ms. Bank Card, I will get us new clothes!

Flock:Yowza! [Cheers]

................

Max:Table for six, please.

Hostess:Right this way, miss. You're in the Gimungous Medieval Defense Fortification room.

Max:Okay. What do you guys want? [The entire flock discusses their orders]

Jason:Hi. I will be your server today.

Max:Okay.

Flock:[orders f00dz]

Jason:Weird. You've ordered too much f00dz.

Manager:Yeah, what he said. And since we're all a bunch of Nazis, you will not get yer f00dz today. Now scram.

Gazzy:[dumps olive oil on Jason's head]

Angel:Jason thinks you're full of hot air and smell like a sissy.

Manager:GET JASON!

[Jason's hand grips the obvious zipper on his neck]

Gazzy:Weird. I thought that was his jacket.

Nudge:He's not even wearing a jacket, stupid.

[The manager pounces on Jason, tearing off his costume]

Jeb:Yo.

Flock:W...T...F...!? [Passes out from shock]

Nudge:Let's blow this joint!

Max:U&A! Now!

[They fly]

................

Max:To the trees!

Fang:OK!

Ari:Yo.

Max:I'm gonna reminisce about when you were normal.

Ari:And I'm gonna kill you! CHARGE!

Jeb:Stop!

Ari:Dad...?

Jeb:Max! Save the world!

Ari:I wanna kill her!

Jeb:No.

Ari:C'mon. PLEEZ!? [Tries to give Bambi eyes with limited success] Can I have a gun?

Jeb:No.

Ari:Can I have a lazer?

Jeb:No.

Ari:Can I have f00dz?

Jeb:No.

Ari:Can I have a chainsaw?

Jeb:Yes--I mean, Maybe--I mean, No.

Ari:Waaaaah!

Max:Whatever. [Flies off]

................


	7. Part 4, Segment 3

Max:Okay. Now with that over with... Hey, what's with Fang?

Fang:I'm bleeding. Bad.

Max:Oh noes!

Gazzy:We needz a hospital!

Iggy:Hate to break it to ya, but there's no hospitals around here for at least the next, um... [looks at map] 38.1534 miles.

Nudge:Where'd you get that map?

Iggy:Gazzy and I stole it from the restaurant manager when he wasn't looking.

Nudge:Oh.

Max:[kisses Fang]

Narrator:[peeks out from behind tree with a camera] Hehe... [Shoots photo]

................

Narrator:The entire gang is flying back towards Manhattan when they get tired and fall out of the sky. They are never seen again.

Max:WILL YOU GET OUT OF HERE!? That's not even what really happens!

Gazzy:Okay, we're in New York now.

Nudge:I'm tired.

Fang:I'm hurt.

Iggy:It's so dark I can't see.

Max:You're _blind_.

Iggy:Oh, right.

Angel:Okay. Let's find a place to sleep.

Gazzy:And then tomorrow we can continue our search for the Institute.

Nudge:Yeah. I wanna find my parents real bad.

Iggy:I wanna find my parents so I can tell'm what total scuzzes they are.

Gazzy:Hey! That's my line!

Mike:Yo.

Max:Remember _THIS_...? [Shows Mike her left arm where her chip is]

Mike:Yikes! Teh NSA is coming! [Runs away]

Fang:Which one's worse: the NSA or the IRS?

Iggy:That's a silly question.

Fang:Just a thought exercise.

................

_The next day..._

Max:Weird. I had a vision last night about a subway tunnel on 33rd Street. Something about a sewer.

Nudge:Maybe that's where we need to go to find the Institute.

Iggy:I second that.

Fang:Third.

Max:Angel?

Angel:Right. [Concentrates]

Gazzy:I wanna say something.

Max:What?

Gazzy:[looks confused] Uhh... Fourth.

[Angel and Max give high fives]

Max:Let's go!

................

Max:Okay. We go this way... then this way... and make a right here...

Fang:How do you know all this?

Max:No clue. All I know is this is where we need to go to find the Institute and find our parents and stuffz.

Gazzy:Are we going to find it soon? It's hot in here.

Max:Hey, look, a grate. In here, peoples!

................

Max:Okay, here we are... [Pulls handle] Shoot. Door's locked.

Nudge:Oh noes!

Iggy:Step aside, peoples.

Max:Where did you get that?

Iggy:None of your business. Anyways, one, two, three... Bingo!

Gazzy:Okay. Let's do this! [farts]

Fang:What's with the light?

Max:Gulp.

Guard:Hey! This is a restricted area! Authorized personnel only!

Max:Angel?

Angel:Right. [Concentrates]

Guard:Never mind. You people stay where you are. I'm off to go pick flowers! [Skips out of sight]

Iggy:Angel!

Angel:What?

Max:She's a six-year-old girl. Still, she should know how weird that was.

................

Gazzy:Holy swear word! It's the Institute for Higher verb ending in -ing!

Max:Have you been playing Mad Libs again?

Gazzy:[sheepishly] Yes.

Nudge:Look at all these computers!

Max:Ooh boy! GIVEZ ME TEH CUMPOOTERZ!

Nudge:No way bubette. [Sits down at computer] Let's do this.

[After thumbing the keyboard for a few seconds, Nudge enters the password. She gets in.]

Nudge:The password is "xjnp7ohj4".

Fang:Alright. Hit "Print". Let's see what this thing does for us.

Nudge:[does so. Papers spew out of the printer.]

Max:SCOER!

................

Gazzy:Ooh, look at this curtain! [Pulls back curtain] Yikes!

Max:What?

Gazzy:Look!

Nudge:Cages?

Gazzy:No. Look closer.

Max:They're mutants. Like us.

Fang:Oh noes.

Angel:Let's help them.

Max:Okay.

Total:Yo.

Angel:Aww, a talking doggy.

Total:Ex-CUSE me?

Angel:Err, a talking... Canine-American.

Max:Alright, peoples! Let's blow this place!

Iggy:Righto!

................

Ari:Yo.

Flock:Yikes!

Max:Let's boogie. [They fight.] Oh noes, Ari's dead.

Flock:Hooray!

Max:Let's get outta here.

Jeb:YOU KILLED YOUR OWN BROTHER!

Max:No clue what that means. But no matter. Up we go.

................

Max:Okay, let's see what's in those papers...

Narrator:Hehehe... [Clutches camera tightly]


End file.
